Drowning Is Not An Option. I Have To Swim
May us Black girls learn to swim instead of becoming too familiar with the ocean’s floor
Listen while you read: Fresh Starts by Nick Courmon
This year I decided at my very big age to take swimming lessons. Every year I say I’m going to. but I just can’t fathom the idea of getting my hair wet and drowning. Of course, the big one was drowning. I know the only way not to drown is to learn and the longer I wait the more of a liability I become to myself.
*I know…a read 🤧*
But to be transparent, I’m tired of drowning in heartbreak, self-doubt, and fear.
It’s not that, that is all my life consists of, but I want to float. To bend with it. I don’t want to feel like I can't get into a rhythm with myself and the things that I want. I want to feel the lightness I read about.
Honestly, ask yourself when was the last time you didn’t feel like you were constantly scrambling and trying to fix yourself.
Repeat after me: I cannot not float with a heavy mind.
That is my only focus right now. I want a calm spirit and a calm mind so I can love myself as I am currently. No tweaks or untils because I need it.
This was my last year celebrating the new year as I have. January 1 will no longer be a restart for me. That’s too much pressure. I am easing my way through my goals and my wants and bending with the life I have currently. I’m buying rain boots for the storms, and sunscreen for the sun and asking for help when I’m unsure of what I need.
Being discontent is a hard thing to talk about in the company of others. You worry about being too pessimistic or always the bearer of bad news, but we must talk about it. We have to acknowledge it to see around it. If you were in a crowd and you couldn’t see, I would hope that you would ask the person in front of you to slide over.
We are done drowning and playing in the shallow end. Let’s get deep with ourselves for the sake of living the life we have, while working towards the one we want.
So, if you’re drowning, and can’t seem to get your footing, here are 5 small things that you can do to help:
Journal daily: it doesn’t have to make sense to anyone but you
Cry it out: call a friend that won’t call you emotional, hug someone
Celebrate something small: made it through the week, celebrate
Talk it out: don’t let social media & life turn you hard. convos still work
Make a self emergency kit: care is urgent so be prepared. gather some of your favorite things: movies, food, lovers, friends, etc. Have it ready for moments like this.
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